Art

Sunsets and Writing Tips

/ Mariana Rodrigues Cabral / 1 Comment

There’s something about 8:00pm that always calms my spirit — the gentle setting of the sun, the quiet comfort in knowing that neighbors and friends have returned from work and can let go. It’s in this moment when day and night touch, when their separate sounds and colors come together, that something tugs at my soul. This is when I feel most inspired.

Woman Writing In Her Diary At Sunset By Grey_Coast_Media | Videohive intended for Woman Writing In Diary

Lately, as I focus on writing constantly, I’ve begun to pick up on tricks that keep my writer’s block at bay. Much like a particular time of the day can make me feel creative, settings have contributed to my writing as well. About three weeks ago, I moved in with my boyfriend. I realized I couldn’t rest until our room felt like it was mine too. I hung paintings, put up photos, and opened boxes containing all the books that were special to me. It made the air in the room lighter immediately, and provided me a space to want to be creative. All of a sudden, I wasn’t decorating to make our room look like a Pinterest board, I was setting up shop. Now, every time I write, whether it be in our room or our living room, I know that my surroundings are fueling me. I know sharing a space with books, artwork, outdoor views, plants, candles, sunsets, etc., entices the creativity right out of me.

Another trick I’ve recently discovered is to revisit earlier works. Currently, I’ve been working on a project in which I sift through old journals and pull out salvageable entries. I take things I’ve written in the past and retype them onto a new document in chronological order. If you’ve caught on to the fact that this sounds like I’m writing a memoir, you’d be correct! The key, I’ve noticed, is not to just copy and paste things you’ve already written. You have to give yourself time to reflect, edit, and even add new insights to ideas you’ve already had — a  trick that’ll sprout more inspiration in the process.

As I piece together this new memoir project, I realize that I wasted too much time thinking I was out of fuel when really it was all around me. It was hidden in journals I had tossed aside as unworthy of my time or in essays and short stories I had written years ago. An art professor once taught me that a painting is never truly finished, that you can revisit and improve upon it forever if you wish, which was exactly the kind of advice that used to piss me off when all I wanted was to complete something. Now, I’m focusing all of my energy into contributing to, reworking, and improving all of these old “paintings”, and I’m totally obsessed. I’m writing like I used to when I was eighteen — nonstop, unfiltered, and bursting with energy. Looking through all the times I wrote to get through major chapters in my life made me fall back in love with writing again. Only this time, the dedication and attention to detail is a little more adult and refined (I hope). I definitely encourage taking the time to reflect on older projects if you haven’t written in a while and you’re not sure where to begin. At the very least, it’ll get your juices flowing.

Whether it’s a sunset, a desk with all your favorite knickknacks on it, an album, or even revisiting something you’ve already written, it helps to uncover the things that trigger your creativity. Once you get a routine going, it’s likely you won’t want to stop. I definitely don’t.

 

 

Listen to Yourself: On Achieving Self-Discipline

/ Mariana Rodrigues Cabral / Leave a comment

“The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.”

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When was the last time you sat in silence and felt yourself slip into nothing? Do you ever tune out the noise around you and pay attention to what happens next? If the answer is ‘yes’ and you’ve allowed yourself moments to stall out, this cryptic message taken from a fortune cookie might stir something inside you.

The more I write, the more the yin and yang of human existence comes up as a theme. It almost writes itself. It’s no surprise, as you can probably tell by my latest blog posts, that I’ve been struggling to find my place in the world after completing my education. It was all too cozy being intertwined in structured collegiate strings – classes, professors, friends, clubs, all keeping my mind and soul active. As I walked across the stage during graduation I felt the strings snap and release their hold on me. It took feeling the diploma in my hand, celebrating a once-in-a-lifetime achievement with my family and friends, and simultaneously suffering the grief brought on from losing the safest chapter of my life for me to understand life’s dark sense of humor. It’s a hard pill to swallow.

Slowly after this shift, I began to look to myself for guidance. The discipline came to me in “the emptiness of everything” — from the moments when I had let my life become cyclical, structureless, and empty. By that I mean, clarity would find its way to me when I was stuck.

When I was a freshman in college, I developed a hip fracture from a combination of dancing for 10+ years of my life and gaining a drastic amount of weight too quickly. I had to drop out of school for a semester to live at home and keep the weight off my legs. Though this could have easily been the worst time in my life, the solitude and quiet gave me time to get to know myself again, to let my mind wander, and to make plans for a better future. It was in those few months that I dedicated time to this blog, wrote poetry every day, painted again for the first time in years, took care of my body, and got accepted into Salem State University where I would eventually complete my education.

I often look back at this time and use it as fuel when life feels uninspiring again. I remember the yin and yang and that I am solely responsible for pulling myself out of the hole, for bringing passion back into my routine. We tend to move so quickly all the time, always set to autopilot at work and in our relationships. It’s easy to lose yourself if you’re not paying attention to the voices and urges inside you. I had to learn that the hard way. I now make time for myself a priority.

When I graduated I let the ensuing emptiness consume me by neglecting the things I loved to do most of all. I stopped writing and felt the strain of that on my entire body. Nothing was expected of me anymore, no schedules were put in place to keep me in line. It was on me.

I’m writing this because I wish it had been available to me around the time my life shifted drastically and I couldn’t keep up. I’m writing this to remind everyone that “the greatest medicine” in life is you. It’s remembering to read, write, think, sit with yourself and feed your intellect, even if no one is expecting that of you.

It’s ironic how much we hate going to classes, dread doing a homework assignment, and can’t stand being graded constantly throughout the majority of our lives, but feel dependent on it all when it’s gone. Most people won’t admit it, but the void is there.

Long story short, sometimes a fortune cookie from last night’s take-out can lead to an epiphany — but only if you give yourself the time necessary to reflect. Though I don’t have anything figured out yet and feel stuck quite often, I am steadily emerging from the fog. Adulthood is intimidating and isolating, but it won’t overpower you if you fight back. Listen to yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

Ebb and Flow

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Ebb and Flow

I dove full force into oil painting for the first time a couple weeks ago and LOVED it! The way the colors seem to communicate with one another and dance is incredible. As I was painting this, I felt like the paints were guiding me and not the other way around. Often, I’d have an idea in mind, but then the shapes or colors would contort into something new, which made the process that much more thrilling. I’m planning on dipping into my new oil paints some more over the summer, so hopefully there will be many new projects to come. I also uploaded new pieces to my art gallery if y’all are interested in checking those out!

A Guy and a Gal in Galway (Part 1)

/ Mariana Rodrigues Cabral / Leave a comment

A vibrant tale about a couples’ first adventure abroad in a city where the Guinness flows like water and the locals are as friendly as the sheep

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On May 2nd 2018, my boyfriend, Richard, and I embarked on our first adventure abroad together to Galway, Ireland. Where my anxious brain might’ve expected drunken arguments in unfamiliar streets, battles over what to do, various fits of rage and hair-pulling, I was gifted instead the insurmountable joy of splitting a once in a lifetime adventure with my best friend who not only supported me through a new experience, but made it explode with beauty.

Galway is colorful, hip, teaming with music around every nook and cranny (there are infinite nooks), and rich with traces of medieval architecture that blend seamlessly with the various modern additions to the city. It’s a successful combo of old and new, just as enjoyable for the longtime locals as it is for the overwhelming college population who are lucky enough to frequent some of the most beautiful pubs, cafes, and restaurants I’ve ever seen.

Seven days is nowhere near long enough to take in an entire city, but dammit, we tried! From taking a ferry to the largest of the Aran Islands, Inis Mór, and racing through the winding streets surrounded by walls of stone and infinite green pastures to sharing pints with new local friends at a hole-in-the-wall craft beer pub called The Salt House – we wanted to make our experience as diverse as possible.

From day one, Rich and I were blown away by the kindness of the locals. With luggage in-hand, we got lost on our way to the Airbnb. Though it wasn’t funny to us then, we were able to laugh later about the fact that our airbnb host said the place would be about a twenty-minute walking distance from the center of town. Nope. It was closer to an hour. As such, we ended up in a suburban street behind one of the shopping centers in the city when, in full-blown desperation, we realized our phones were dead so we couldn’t even call a taxi. Eventually we were able to ask a woman leaving her apartment across the street if she could point us in the right direction. In a thick accent that made us more excited that it should have, she not only pointed us to the street we were looking for but offered to hail us cab as well. This was the general behavior of everyone in town who was willing to answer our questions. During another mishap, a lovely couple offered us a ride after we missed our bus, treating us as if we were longtime friends. They called the bus company for us and, sure enough, it came back. Not only were they incredibly accommodating, they were pretty badass too. Only a little younger than my grandparents, we had caught them in the middle of heading back to a nearby pub to retrieve their car.

“Sounds like you had yourselves a good night,” I joked.

“That’s every night,” they responded.

Flash forward to Rich and I exclaiming the Gaelic version of “cheers”, “Sláinte!” (pronounced slawn-cha) while clinking pint glasses with new friends from Galway at The Salt House, a craft beer dive bar we kept returning to after this night in particular. The couple who left their car at a pub came to mind as Rich and I too found ourselves fully immersed in the Galway daze, losing track of time and space in good company. Hours flew by discussing everything from whether or not we were watching the same TV shows on Netflix to the current political climate in both countries. Though we couldn’t miss the hundreds of “Vote Yes” and “Vote No” signs all over the city, we had not been informed about the historic referendum on abortion that had all of Ireland in a tizzy. Locals were and still are nervously anticipating a drastic change in their constitution, allowing women to have safe abortions in Ireland, if the majority of the votes turn out in favor of repealing the current law. Tucked away in our American bubble, we were shocked to discover this and it was a topic of conversation that came up more than once throughout our trip. It’s crazy to think, if the law is indeed repealed, that Rich and I were there before history had been made. It’s amazing how easy it is to be removed from the rest of the world, but it’s even more amazing how quickly we empathize when the issue is suddenly in front of us.

I don’t remember how long we stayed to chat with our new friends or how many rounds of beer were ordered, but I do remember Rich doing an Irish accent upon request and getting a round of applause. Point is, we were in the thick of it, just like we wanted. When it was time to go, we all exchanged Facebook info and planned to meet again. They invited us to a referendum repeal party on a boat.

Rich and I looked at each other, both with smiles that were waiting to burst all over our faces, looking like we were holding in a secret. We were thrilled but didn’t want to seem too uncool, too eager. We waited until we were alone outside to kiss and explode with excitement at how intoxicating the entire night had been, that we had found ourselves in this new place and formed real connections, that we were experiencing this adventure together. Running on a mutual high from the bar was one of the highlights of the trip for me, feeling deeply connected to him and to the moment – and the best part is, it was only the beginning.

To read the final installment of my Galway adventure, click here!

Don’t forget to check out The Irish Times for additional information on the abortion referendum too.

Tarot Thursday: Lessons From The Deck

/ Mariana Rodrigues Cabral / Leave a comment

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What better way to reflect on a tarot card about misgivings and failure than to set off in a completely new direction that could also end in failure? Failure that at the very least will get published on Thursdays in the future for a catchy title’s sake.

Hello my readers, if there are any of you out there. A couple years ago a good friend of mine gifted me a beautiful Salvador Dali tarot deck. We used to reflect on it together in the attic of the first apartment I ever moved to in Salem. Like the two freshly moved to Salem wannabe witches we were, we’d do readings together over red wine and plan our futures. I get chills thinking about those nights and how happy I was losing track of time with magic cards. I thought it would be fun, possibly poignant (possibly stupid) to  pick a single card out of the deck from time to time as a point of reflection – use what the card brings to mind as a writing prompt.

Let’s start with today’s pick, the reversed Page of Wands. Right off the bat, this one hits the mark. It’s generally about being unmotivated, insecure, self-deprecating, and entirely to blame for being stuck in one place. How absurd! I resent the accusation! I’ve been super motivated and ridiculously consistent on this blog. Upright, the Page of Wands is not unlike The Fool in that he/she is a free spirit with a zest for life who is full of creative energy and vitality – basically willing to try anything even if it’s naive. The saying, ignorance is bliss, and the song “Happy Idiot” by TV On The Radio come to mind. If you haven’t listened to that yet, what’re you doing?

I’m no tarot expert and my deck’s been gathering dust on my bookshelf for quite some time, probably because the accuracy of a reading scares me away sometimes. Honestly, this tarot is just reiterating what my Dad said to me last night. Wake up. Be great. Stop moping.

We look for wake-up calls everywhere whether that be through self-help books, following famous Instagrammers and Youtubers whose lives we obsess over and want (meanwhile wasting our own), advice from loved ones, etc., but until we apply all the information we constantly soak in, we remain at a standstill. I’ve been there for a long time, with all the answers floating in my mind just waiting to be utilized. A tarot card didn’t have to tell me that, but it’s a nice reminder all the same.

I guess the point of all this is to say that while these reminders are important, those “New and Improved Me” productivity lists we make for ourselves here and there, the dreams we talk about constantly but never bring into reality, the most effective and longterm evolution comes from just doing. That means doing something, anything, you like, preferably alone, and working at it because it makes you feel good – even if it’s as small as writing this silly tarot blog post.

At my happiest, I wasn’t planning for the future every minute of every day. I was just finding outlets for all the chaos going on inside either by gathering random footage of my life and editing it into short films, writing terrible poetry, choreographing dances to favorite songs, whatever. I didn’t realize how much I was actually pushing forward then, opening the doors to my future without that being the intention.

The Page of Wands is about creative restlessness, discovery, and most importantly, not needing a solid plan to be great or fulfilled. Isn’t that a reassuring sentiment? This is my PSA reminding everyone, mostly reminding myself, to play. Being a dreamer is great but playing is vastly more satisfying.

I hope you enjoyed this first rant of many. Let the tarot begin.

Losing My Stand-Up Virginity

/ Mariana Rodrigues Cabral / Leave a comment

I attended my first ever stand-up comedy show with my boyfriend last week. As a self-proclaimed empath, the probability that I’d have to sit through watching at least one or a handful of comedians bomb made me uncomfortable to the say the least. The same kind of uncomfortable that overcame me during a middle school talent show when one of the performers clearly farted during her dance routine and the sound echoed around the auditorium. The second-hand embarrassment and nausea followed me all the way home.

With that being said, I have an endless amount of respect for comedians. I grew up on stage, dancing and failing many times myself. However, I usually played a character or felt that the dancing itself was a barrier that kept the real me hidden inside. I never had my raw personality scrutinized by others. I never had a crowd of people stare blankly at me while I failed to make them laugh. This specific kind of person and the specific kind of courage it takes to be this vulnerable is magnetic to me.

Not only are comedians brave, but the best of the best are also acutely aware of their surroundings like they have a sixth sense. I’d like to think comedians are sort of like boggarts from Harry Potter, those creatures that can shape-shift and contort themselves into our greatest fears, only instead they shape-shift into the dark, light, strange, true, and connect it all together through story-telling, ultimately revealing something universal and distinctly human about life – and they juggle the ability to do so while being charming and making us laugh. That’s a lot!

The open-mic comedy night was no exception. I was stunned by the respect I felt for all of these up-and-comers, even the ones who “bombed”. Not all of the jokes were my cup of tea, but the sheer confidence the people delivering them carried up to the stage was enough to be impressive in its own right. I was stunned by their lack of fear, or at least by the way they made it seem like they were indestructible. When a joke flopped, most of them would just shake it off with transitions like “guess that one didn’t take” or “probably not the right crowd to be talkin’ about eatin’ ass with”, which was one of my personal favorites. The whole thing was messy, funny, a perfect homage to how beautiful chaos can be.

By the end of the night, the host bought my boyfriend and I a couple of drinks just for sticking around to support the performers. I held my third glass of wine in one hand as I shook the hands of the comedians we were introduced to in the other. Off the stage, chatting with them, it was impossible to detect any discernible difference between us – but it was clear to me that we weren’t the same. Not at all. As I left the bar, I looked back at the stage and thought about how important it is to introduce fear and vulnerability into our lives, to take chances on the things that scare us the most even if it means you could end up farting in front of an audience, even if all you hear is crickets when you tell a joke.

Anyway, if you live in the Boston area, definitely go check out comedy night at The Burren in Somerville to support some cool local comedians. It’s definitely worth it, chaos and all.