When I close the blinds
and prying eyes don't look inside
an ease of my strokes
is much easier to find
It's by removing the lens
that I unearth again
the truth of creation
without any of the pretense
For the river never stops
whether you come to watch
or lest you forget
nature runs without clocks
Remember your worth
when there's no one around
paint what you feel
and so on and so forth
You don’t need to have groundbreaking ideas every day, but you should find meaning in every moment. Even when poetry is the last thing I can get myself to write, I see it all around me. I see it in the way the power lines on my street look like crosses and in the scent of new flowers about to bloom. It’s in the shrill echoes of the police sirens and in the voices of people going out for drinks on my block. All of these small everyday details find ways to command attention, which is why for today’s #bloganuary challenge I’m going to try to write a poem when I’m not inspired.
. . .
don’t fear quiet
and wish for filled spaces
your head doesn’t have to be hell
if you use it well
solitude can be solace
in the presence of everything
you’re never alone
Striding toward the sun
linked arm in arm,
we always dive in headfirst.
We’ll make friends with squirrels
and fly with birds
until it’s time to reset.
I’d rather be idle
than on the go
when he looks so happy here.
Because life is simple
at its most grand,
blessed freedom and mother’s rays.
Phantom limbs ache far more
than wounded flesh.
Don’t put trust in the physical, futile things.
Linger on silver silhouettes
and deep belly whispers.
Things most true can’t be seen
Can’t you tell?
You can pour sun into the darkness
and still never see the bottom of the well.
Do you ever catch glimpses of the sun between dark patches of old?
When the world opens up for you like a woman and shows you the way
Suddenly every road, every stone is a gift to unfold.
There’s an insatiable hunger that food can never dull. It lives in the deepest crevice of your heart, and contorts your dreams till you’re sick. Feed it too much and the hunger spreads. Feed it too little and it’ll eat its way out. Feed it nothing – now that’s the trick.
Like a dog whose attention spans the world all at once, let the sky’s breath ruffle your hair. Stand under the sun till you ignite. Hold your mother’s hand.
Ignore the growl in your core till it turns into rhythm, a silk beat to walk in time to as you spread yourself thinner and thinner into dust because when you cease being wants, craves, and burns,
He held me on the sidewalk while bodies passed, dodging us like we were delicate birds in the middle of the road.
I stained his jacket like the rain looming above our heads threatened to stain the city.
We had been here before. Me grieving a loss of something I’d never had. Him towering over me like a building I could lock myself inside.
I used to think he waded in shallow waters while I sunk into the deep. I pictured his long tranquil body at the surface, a halo of sun emanating over the sea. I couldn’t reach it.
In the car I mourned the loss of nothing and felt myself sink. He held my hand just in time to keep me afloat. We locked eyes and fingers, igniting a forcefield to keep the world out.
Driving through the clutter, we escaped the muck that pressed onto our skin – mine always stickier than his it seemed.
When we were free I kissed him so he could feel the light he had left inside me.
It was then I knew we’d find our way together
through the rain,
and up towards the sun.
If only I could puke me out.
When I was done carving out my insides
I’d watch the ugly colorless excrement squirm on the floor.
No need to kill it.
It’ll just die starving, waiting for nourishment like a newborn
– reaching out for hands.
We’re all put off by our own vomit,
so I turn my back on it
because I’m clean now. I am.
a familiar acidic sting touches the back of my throat
– runs its fingers down my tongue.
When I turn around the waste is standing behind me.
“Is something wrong?” it asks
– a foul smile forming on its face.
And before I can answer I’m puking again.
My blood vessels burst all at once like a firecracker
And the lights go out for me too.
Thoughts written on the back of specials menus during a late night serving shift
It shouldn’t be lonely to be alone. Resilience is knowing this, living without relying. Something I couldn’t fathom as a child when all my loved ones were drinking from a fountain of eternal youth and I was certain I’d be great.
How much can a person’s light fade before they disappear?
I keep turning onto dead ends, which is to be expected when you have no sense of direction. I dreamt I found my starting point. Feeling the sweet rush of a challenge suited for me, I embraced it like an old friend. I woke up with a dull pain in my chest. It’s been hard to b r e a t h e. Now I draw in tentative breaths that move as slow as I do.